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Open letter to Joanna Lumley – about lavatories

Dear Joanna (if I may)

You and I don’t have much in common, apart maybe, from a love of, and involvement with theatre. I don’t have your sexy voice, lovely figure or that infinitesimal something which seems to drive apparently level headed chaps bonkers.

But we are definitely at one when it comes to lavatories for women in theatres. They are often demeaningly appalling. There aren’t usually enough of them and the plumbing is frequently substandard which leads to blockages, failure to flush and … well we both know what it’s like, don’t we? Unlike the men who design and manage but never use them.

I’ve written about this so many times that other journos and theatre people often send me links and jokes about it … “Here’s one on theatre lavatories for Susan”.

So: warmest congratulations on your The Old Vic campaign (with Glenda Jackson and Bertie Carvel who presumably doesn’t frequent the ladies’ loos but is sympathetic) to double the number there. I gather that the theatre has launched a £100,000 public fundraising campaign to help it carry out major works which will include more lavatories for women. Hurrah and thank you.

What we need, of course, is plenty of properly plumbed roomy cubicles but for goodness sake don’t let anyone site wash hand basins and mirrors inside because it makes the queues even slower. Communal handwashing is much niftier.

But please don’t stop at The Old Vic, Joanna. What about Fortune Theatre which has, in my view, the worst theatre ladies’ toilets in London? And facilities are appalling at Ambassadors Theatre. Now that the deal for ownership of the latter to pass from Stephen Waley-Cohen to Cameron Macintosh has fallen through I worry even more about those lavatories because they are no longer likely to be on anyone’s priority list. Ladies’ loos aren’t much cop at the Vaudeville either. And I could go on. I won’t though because you know all this as well as I do.

Now, given all your aforementioned useful qualities, Joanna, you could get attention from lots of influential blokes and get this thing off the ground in a way that I can’t. How about a Joanna Lumley Theatre Loos Campaign? (JLTLC)? I’ll be your number one supporter.

Best wishes
Susan
Joanna_Lumley_2014
CREDIT See Li from London

20 November, St Michael’s Church, Highgate

This imaginatively programmed chamber concert opened and closed with substantial works (Beethoven String Trio in G Op 9 no 1 and Schubert Piano Quintet in A D.667 Op 114 ‘Trout’) and sandwiched other slighter – but interestingly varied – pieces in the middle. It meant that we heard seven talented musicians in a range of contexts including duets which showcased a great deal of pretty stunning virtuosity.

Kenneh-Mason, as we’re rapidly realising, can play anything and wow an audience with it. If he gave us a one octave G major scale he’d make it sing. His rendering, in this concert, of Bloch’s Prayer from Jewish Life (immaculately accompanied by Irina Botan) brought out all the mournfully, soulfully evocative minor key richness in the piece and I loved the way he leaned on that dramatic quarter tone moment just before the end.

He and Ashok Klouda had fun with the South American dance rhythms and that catchy refrain in Jose Elizondo’s Autumn in Buenos Aires for two cellos too – lots of smiling eye contact and evident pleasure both in music and in working together.

It’s also good, to hear a live performance of Mahler’s 1876  single movement A Minor piano quartet written while he was still a student. It’s an evocative piece, very familiar from radio but I don’t recall ever hearing it in concert before. It was played here with lots of youthful emotion exactly as the young Mahler probably intended.

The Beethoven trio, with which the concert opened  is, of course, a pretty little gem. I admired the handling of  incisive contrasts in dynamic and tempi, especially in the Allegro con Brio which were well supported by the acoustic in the cavernous Victorian space of St Michael’s Church. The concert was sold out and the church full to the rafters so all those bodies softened the echo rather well. Another high spot in the trio was the finely judged melodic weaving by the first violin (Alexander Sitkovetsky) in the Adagio Cantabile.

And so to the utter joy of the Trout quintet with Simon Callaghan on piano and the very charismatic Chi-chi Nwanoku reading her double bass part from an iPad and dancing her way communicatively though the music. I admired the apparently effortless, graceful work in the variations which comprise the  famous andantino – especially Alexander Sitovetsky on violin. This lovely performance was also graced by an exceptionally slick scherzo.

The gallery at St Michael’s is cursed by some of the most uncomfortable seating it has ever been my misfortune to spend time in. Fortunately the quality and exuberance of the music superseded it – mostly. How about some reserved ground floor seating for the press next time?

First published by Lark Reviews: http://www.larkreviews.co.uk/?p=4771

Plaid Tidings (Forever Plaid) – ★★★★
Produced by Bridge House Productions SE20
society/company: West End & Fringe (directory)
performance date: 26 Nov 2018
venue: Bridge House Theatre SE20, 2 High Street, Penge, London SE20 8RZ

★★★★

This tunefully jolly Christmas show presents four talented singer/actors – Kris Marc-Joseph, Laurie Denman, Alex Bloomer and Joshua Da Costa – who really know how to work well together in a small space. Stuart Ross’s play is billed as a ‘holiday sequel’ to his earlier Forever Plaid and features – mostly in short bursts and slick medleys – almost every Christmas song, carol or tune you can think of.

The Plaids are a close harmony group who died in a Pensylvania road crash in 1964. Now, for reasons they don’t quite understand, the celestial powers-that-be have sent them back to do one more show on earth. Cue for much interplay between the four of them and puzzlement over, for example, mobile phones and other 2018 issues.

Musically directed by versatile (good falsetto too) Laurie Denman on keyboard, the singing is splendid. Whether it’s Gregorian chant or Santa Baby these four sing beautifully together with almost every harmony accurately nuanced. There is a handbell sequence which is fun too (I wonder how long it took to rehearse?) and sometimes the quartet play percussion instruments as they sing.

Joshua Da Costa, who sings the bass parts with warmth, is especially impressive. Twice he started a number ‘cold’ and unaccompanied – but perfectly in tune as we can all hear when the accompaniment joins him. Alex Bloomer’s Sparky is a gentle, wide-eyed character in whom the actor finds plenty of feisty vulnerability. Kris Marc-Joseph brings lots of personality and charisma to the quartet especially in his well controlled solo number.

Director Guy Retallack clearly knows how to make the best of his modest but delightful SE20 (there’s always a Penge joke and this show is no exception) pub theatre space. The quartet dance, create formations and use the podium edge as well as making masses of eye contact with the very close audience. Retallack also ensures that we react to each man as an individual as well as part of the group.

The fresh originality of this show is a welcome antidote to seasonal theatrical saccharine and pantomimes.
 First published by Sardines: http://www.sardinesmagazine.co.uk/reviews/review.php?REVIEW-West%20End%20&%20Fringe-Plaid%20Tidings%20(Forever%20Plaid)%20-%20%E2%98%85%E2%98%85%E2%98%85%E2%98%85&reviewsID=3412
 
 
 
 
Cinderella – ★★★★
By Paul Hendy. Co-produced by Marlowe Theatre and Evolution Pantomimes.
society/company: Marlowe Theatre (professional) (directory)
performance date: 23 Nov 2018
venue: Marlowe Theatre, Canterbury
 
Photo: Pamela Raith

★★★★

My first 2018 pantomime, as always, sets a high standard for the rest to meet. Paul Hendy’s take on Cinderella glitters (often literally) with high production values and enough innovation to make it feel fresh without denting the traditional flavour.

This Cinders, for example (Cara Dudgeon) is a feisty feminist and there are a lot of quite funny stereotype-busting jokes in the first half hour or so. She fails to keep it up once she sights Oliver Watton’s Prince Charming but it doesn’t matter much in this context. Dudgeon, incidentally has a fine singing voice and is a vibrantly accomplished dancer. We also get a pair of exquisitely cute white Shetland ponies to pull the carriage, a stunning aerial turn by Duo Fusion (Connor Byrne and Tiffany Gaine) and excellently choreographed (Jono Kitchens) dancing by a team of eight professionals with a small group of local children. Then there’s the very talented child, said in the script to be aged eight, who chips in with terrific flair and aplomb. She is not credited by name in the programme so presumably there is one who can carry this off in each of the three rotating children’s teams.

The best thing of all in this show is the skill with which Ben Roddy and Lloyd Hollett, both Marlowe regulars who are known and loved by the audience, work together as the ugly sisters. They simper, mince, flirt with the audience and play off each other perfectly – two men who’ve worked together many times before and know exactly how to nuance every word and every toss of the head. Watching them is like a panto dame-ing masterclass.

Phil Gallagher is a reliable Buttons with all the right insouciance tempered with a bit of pathos and Harry Reid’s gor-blimey Dandini from Gravesend is good value. The local jokes, as always at the Marlowe, come thick and fast as the script pokes gentle fun at most of the other local towns.

There are, however, a few things in this show which are not quite right. It is a directorial misjudgement to run the aerial sequence while Dudgeon and Watton are singing. Both pairs deserve full focus. Neither should act as an accompaniment to the other.

Chris Wong’s band does its usual excellent job. He is a breathtaking guitarist so when he stands on the main stage to play a sort of showpiece cadenza it should be for more than a few bars. As it is there is barely time to register what he is doing before he is gone – an opportunity thrown away. And I won’t dwell on the weak singing by several cast members because, in the context of this high octane show it didn’t distract much. Suffice it to say they were evidently cast for their other skills.

Generally though this is a panto which zips pacily along managing to be wittily subversive without ever resorting to smut and that makes it a bit of a treat.

Photo: Pamela Raith
 

First published by Sardines: http://www.sardinesmagazine.co.uk/reviews/review.php?REVIEW-Marlowe%20Theatre%20(professional)-Cinderella%20-%20%E2%98%85%E2%98%85%E2%98%85%E2%98%85&reviewsID=3409

Macbeth
William Shakespeare. Abridged by Moira Buffini.
society/company: National Youth Theatre of Great Britain (NYT) (directory)
performance date: 20 Nov 2018
venue: Garrick Theatre, 2 Charing Cross Road, London WC2H 0HH

It’s a notoriously difficult play to bring off. Perhaps that’s the reason for its reputation for ‘unluckiness’. I have often said that I’ve never seen a production which really – really – worked. Well, now I have.

Abridged by Moira Buffini (hardly any English scene, praise be) and pithily directed by Natasha Nixon this version is terrific – maybe the best Macbeth I’ve ever seen. It’s full of fresh, very effective ideas such as overtly doubling the witches with the assassins and casting this talented company in an imaginatively gender fluid way. I loved the emergence of the bloody sergeant from a pile of writhing bodies and the popping out, like a grotesque birth, of the apparitions from the skirts of a huge stilted figure. I was less enamoured by the tree at the back of Mayou Trikeritoi’s set which reminded me of Jack’s beanstalk but it’s a minor point.

This production gives us a female Macbeth (Olivia Dowd) in a same sex relationship with Isabel Adomakoh Young’s Lady Macbeth. Both are fine actors, totally on top of the verse and able to make every line clear and laden with meaning. Dowd’s mood swings as we watch her spiralling into tyranny are immaculately observed and, often, powerfully understated. And her final fight with Oseloka Obi (directed by Kate Waters) as Macduff is so convincing that it seems quite surprising that she’s on her feet for a curtain call a few moments later.

Watch out for the highly talented Aidan Cheng. I’ve now seen him in all three 2018 NYT rep company shows and I’m certain we shall be seeing a lot more of him very soon. Here he plays a hideously menacing – terrifying in fact – first witch wearing a ballet skirt, football socks and platform heels. He leers, threatens, simpers … and it’s sinister. I liked Jeffrey Sangalang’s lithely simian second witch scuttling round the stage like a spider too. And Simran Hunjun’s third witch is extraordinary. Hunjun has a lot of sleek dark hair which forms part of her rigid red costume – very ingenious. She too is very unsettlingly creepy.

Max Pappenheim’s sound design is a crucial part of the mix with lots of thunder rumblings and disconcerting clicks. It will be a long time before I forget the sound of Aidan Cheng gleefully twisting the Rubik’s cube which has fallen from the hand of Fred Hughes-Stanton (another good performance) as the murdered Macduff child.

I loathed Victoria’s Knickers, the last play I saw 2018 National Youth Theatre with a couple of weeks ago. This outstanding Macbeth shows just what heights this talented company can reach if you give them a decent play to work on and material which requires something subtler from the cast than attitude and expletives.

I have to say, though, that while I commend the NYT’s determination to be inclusive and diverse there are a couple of actors in this company whose voice work isn’t very strong – and I’ve now observed it in three different plays although I’m not going to name them. To what extent this could be rectified with further training I don’t know but I doubt they will go straight into the industry in speaking roles as the majority of this group certainly will.

First published by Sardines:http://www.sardinesmagazine.co.uk/reviews/review.php?REVIEW-National%20Youth%20Theatre%20of%20Great%20Britain%20(NYT)-Macbeth&reviewsID=3405

Finding, hiring and working with carers is a whole new ball game and one which – until recently – I never imagined I’d ever have to play. My Loved One and I were supposed to grow old together – the sort of couple people marvel at because they’re still striding about busily in their nineties, indestructible on their vegetarian diet. Alas, fate and Ms Alzheimer’s have decided otherwise. And I can, it seems, now add “carer management” to my growing CV.

Most people in our position just want a bit of respite care so that the retired carer-partner can pop out for an escapist lunch with friends. Me, I’ve always been a stereotype defier. What I need is a “man-sitting” service while I go out to work and that means a wide range of erratic hours including a lot of evenings especially in the busy run-up to Christmas. MLO has been more or less OK left at home by himself in the warm with food put ready until this last month during which his health has. I’m afraid, plummeted quite dramatically.

He is now very uneasy if he’s on his own for long. Cue for panic calls to me, which I can’t answer, of course, if I’m in the theatre, so he often starts anxiously phoning round the family to tell them he doesn’t know where I am or “what’s going on”. I ring him all the time but it’s an increasingly stressful situation. Time for carers. Definitely

I found a website which operates like Checkatrade or Right Trader – but for carers. I was irritated that they really wanted me to pay a thumping annual membership in order to get information but signed up for the basic – free – service. Having explained my requirements I got over 30 responses over the course of a week or two. Well, we live in inner London’s deep south and carers who live in Enfield, Kingston or Erith were clearly never going to be able to provide the service I need, whatever they said. So using location as the lead criterion I picked two very local ones and invited them to come (separately) to meet us. They’re very different types but I liked them both and MLO – while not fully grasping what I was trying to do seemed fairly relaxed about it.

In the last week both have been here and done shifts for me. I was adamant from the outset that I didn’t want the sort of standard carer “package” which involves someone from an agency who would dash in for 10 minutes, make sure MLO was alive and shove a sandwich at him. I’ve seen too much of that with friends, relations and neighbours. I wanted people who would spend substantial blocks of quality time with MLO and that’s what I’ve got. He needs unhurried calm reassurance and company.

I’ve also met and “hired” an impressively competent student from a local drama school who, for family reasons, is very used to looking after people. I’ve always argued that drama-trained people are some of the most capable you could meet and she is a case in point. She’s going to bring Carry On films to watch with MLO – the two of them were chuckling about it even before she left. One of the others wants to know where I keep our board games so that she can play them with the patient. Hurrah. I would no more think of sitting down and playing a board (bored) game with him than running naked along the South Circular but I bet he’ll enjoy a round or two of Sorry or Scrabble.

That gives me a list of three carers to call on and I’m actively searching for a couple more so that I can get cover for any sort of work commitment. All quite encouraging.

On the three occasions so far that I’ve had one of them in all seems to have been well. “She has a very full and interesting life” MLO told me later about one of them so he’d clearly listened and retained some of what had been said – which is a nice change from him telling me continually for 8 hours on Sunday that he was frightened of the water and was afraid he wouldn’t see me again. He’d been dreaming and thought, unshakeably, that he was a refugee on an escape boat – starting at 4.00am.

Having carers in, though, is not for the financially faint-hearted. I’ve worked hard all my life and am not short of money. We also have Attendance Allowance because of MLO’s illness. Nonetheless if I have to pay a minimum of £9/10 per hour every time I go out it’s soon going to clock up to hundreds of pounds every week just for the “privilege” of working. And I don’t think most of my editors would wear my charging the care fee as expenses either. They would simply – as would I in their position – get an unencumbered reviewer instead of me.

In short I’m in the position that many mothers find themselves when they return to work after maternity leave. The cost of childcare – or carers – is so high that the work ceases to be economic. The point is, that like many a newish mother, for me working is about a great deal more than money. It is actually what is going to stop me going completely dotty and that’s really rather important under the circumstances.

Terra nova.

A few years ago there was a lot of anxious talk about worsening skills shortages in the performing arts industries. Young people know about acting, singing and dancing but they tend not to be aware of the importance of stage managers, scenic constructors, directors, producers, costume makers, make up artists, lighting technicians etc. Then there’s the whole field of design.

Theatre, as I wrote in my 2013, book So You Want to Work in Theatre (Nick Hern Books) is like an iceberg. For everything you can see there’s an awful lot going on behind the scenes which you can’t.

Well, much has been done to dent those skills shortages since then. There are some excellent apprenticeship schemes at, for example, National Theatre and Royal Opera House and in regional theatre all over the country – working in almost every aspect of theatre making. Creative and Cultural Skills has beavered away very successfully to provide courses, create opportunities and raise awareness. And drama schools such as Guildhall School of Music and Drama, Mountview and Royal Birmingham Conservatoire run fine theatre arts courses. So, incidentally, do Wimbledon College of Art, London College of Fashion, Nottingham Trent University and Plymouth College of Art – among many others.

The training opportunities are lined up but there is still ignorance at school leaver level. Many teachers and careers advisers know very little about the creative industries (including performing arts) which contribute £250 billion per year – that’s 14.2 % – to the British economy, The sector is growing faster than the economy as a whole and is one of Britain’s strongest exports. Who says it’s not a good area to work in? Unfortunately too many school staff merely know that actors are often unemployed and try to put thespy kids off. So how to we get the message to young people who often don’t have the experience to know what goes on beyond the visible performance?

Theatrecraft, the annual careers fair, which I attended last week, is doing a fine job by getting around a thousand young people through the door every time. It’s now in its 13th year and I’ve been to most of them. The event has – encouragingly and rightly – grown over the years. This year, as last, the main stands and some of the events were at Waldorf Hilton Hotel, Aldwych with some of the seminars and workshops in nearby theatres.

It was good to see so many young people talking earnestly about courses to staff from, for example, LIPA, East 15, GSA, Central and RADA. Organisations such as National Youth Theatre (excellent backstage summer courses) and Roundhouse which runs a far reaching opportunity-rich education programme were present too. And I stress that those are just examples. It was a very busy, buzzy event graced by 61 stands.

The eclectic workshop/seminar programme was impressive too. I dropped in on some sessions and was particularly taken with Nigel Lilley (MD on Company at the Geilgud Theatre) talking with animated charisma about the role of the musical director. I thought I had a pretty clear understanding of how musical theatre works but I learned loads in 20 minutes.

It’s quite a bonus for young people to get all this free. Some come in school or college groups and others as individuals. And they range from enthusiastic 16 year olds though to researching 20 somethings who may already have trained in theatre or something else and are now seeking a next step.

Look out for next year’s Theatrecraft – usually a Friday in mid-November. It’s doing an excellent job. I just wish more careers advisers and teachers were there gathering information to take back to students who couldn’t make it.

theatrecraft.org

The Wind in the Willows – ★★★★
by Toby Hulse. Based on the novel by Kenneth Grahame
society/company: Polka Theatre
performance date: 17 Nov 2018
venue: Polka Theatre, Wimbledon

The first Christmas show of the year (for me, anyway) is an utterly charming celebration of friendship and inclusivity which also manages in a timely and timeless way roundly to condemn the worst traits of human beings. The decent animals in Toby Dulse’s play regard behaving like humans as reprehensible (although, obviously talking is OK). Thus the more “human” Toad becomes the worse predicament he’s in and must be saved from. I like that take on Kenneth Grahame.

The lovely opening of this show, directed by the ever reliable Roman Stefanski, rivals The Lion King for dramatic impact as the cast come in from the back singing (one of Julian Butler’s usual sparky songs) and with magnificent bird and insect puppets which “fly” and bob over the audience. When they reach the stage the set is in two halves because the Polka playing space is very deep. Designer Liz Cooke provides a huge, titled sawn off tree trunk upon which much of the action takes place with an imagined river around it and another space upstage which becomes, for example the depth of the Wild Wood or Toad Hall. I lived the ferret puppet masks with their lit red eyes too. This The Wind in the Willows is beautifully designed.

The other unusual but very successful concept here is that the animals are scaled so that they are in miniature world of their own. So when Toad is imprisoned it’s by a disembodied child who sees him in a toy car, captures him and puts him in a jar. Later Toad invents a silly human story about a prison and escape dressed as a washerwoman for a totally unconvinced Ratty and Mole. Ratty’s boat is the sort of paper one a child would make from a sheet of newspaper and he rows it with a feather. The ducks (more exquisite puppets) are larger than Ratty and Mole. Toad’s motoring helmet is made out of a prickly conker shell and so it goes on.

There are some nice performances here too. Andrew Chevalier as Ratty, for example, whom I’ve seen before in very serious classical roles with the Faction Repertory Company, is warmly entertaining and, I think, enjoying himself. He sings adequately too. Andrea Matthea-Laing, in her first professional role, gives us a charming and near-perfect Mole: nervous, entranced and gaining moral strength as a play progresses. Phil Yarrow as a fine Toad does, among many other things, the best toddler tantrum I’ve ever seen on stage. Every child (and parent) in the house recognised it with glee. Kara Taylor Alberts and Jessica Dennis competently play all the minor roles and form an ensemble. Alberts is fun, for example, as the angry ferret made to pull Toad’s caravan because a horse would be too big.

Edd Muruako is a gravelly Badger who uses a northern accent spliced with Caribbean. He’s a big chap and looks good because he dwarfs the smaller animals but his acting is a bit wooden which is a pity.

The singing in this show is generally more enthusiastic than musically accomplished but actually in this context that matters very little. While some of the solo work is iffy, the choral singing works pretty well and it all adds to a deliciously homely two hours of thoughtful escapism. The rest of this year’s Christmas shows are as pleasant as this I shall be a happy woman by 25 December.

First published by Sardines: http://www.sardinesmagazine.co.uk/reviews/review.php?REVIEW-Polka%20Theatre%20(professional%20productions)-The%20Wind%20in%20the%20Willows%20-%20%E2%98%85%E2%98%85%E2%98%85%E2%98%85&reviewsID=3399